Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
