Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
