I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
