That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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