too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
