coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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