Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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