Me. At least after what I've been through.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
