I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize