Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
