I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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