I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
