If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
