This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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