i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
