So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
