It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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