there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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