i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
