Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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