her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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