you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
