Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
