I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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