Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
