he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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