Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
