WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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