We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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