He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
