how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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