I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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