It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
meet me or not, i'm out of control
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Rumble strips road head = magical
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
