i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
