Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
