so that wasnt chicken after all
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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