there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Come on in and take your pants off
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