bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
