How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
