sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had sex on a roof
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
