i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
