And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
