i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize