he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
