I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
