first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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