you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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