12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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