He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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