Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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