Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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