After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
