I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
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then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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