Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sponge bath it is.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
