apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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