absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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