If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize