Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
