There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize