So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
