Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize