I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
