It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
