Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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