What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
