Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am naked and annoyed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
