You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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