just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You can't motorboat a personality
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
should my penis look like a turkey
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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