when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
