you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
