im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
