btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
