____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
