I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
